Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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