i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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