why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
