I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
