I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
