There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
