my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
