There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
