I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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