it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
