i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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