He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She bit a glass in half.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
