i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
