I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize