so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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