I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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