that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
