also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
