C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
