I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
