All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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