my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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