the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
