Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I will be naked everywhere
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
