I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
