She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
