after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
