Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
