she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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