i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
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