Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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