Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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