last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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