he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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