He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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