a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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