Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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