Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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