We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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