A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
