one two three fourrrrnication!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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