On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
