The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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