I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
