I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
