There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
