Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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