Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
