I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I want is dick and wine.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
