nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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