Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
