Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize