Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
too bad you live with your parents still
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
