oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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