Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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