It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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