wanna go halves on a baby?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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