so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize