omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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