I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize