At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
