Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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