she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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