i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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