the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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