From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
