A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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