I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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