i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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