i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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