is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
